We knew that once we had a positive pregnancy test, we wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while. We told my sister and brother in law immediately, since we all live together, and let’s be honest, we are not good at keeping things from people! We had our first ultrasound at six weeks, which is earlier than the traditional pregnancy, but because I had taken letrozole, we needed to see how many embryos were in my uterus!
How many were there going to be?! One? Twins? TRIPLETS?! For some reason, the thought of multiples never came into our minds. It was time to see how many babies we were going to be adding into our life! We went in for our ultrasound, and have never been so nervous in our entire lives. Particularly in the beginning stages of pregnancy, every ultrasound or doppler appointment feels the same way. That dreaded 10 seconds of complete fear that you won’t see or hear a heartbeat, and be told the devastating news that you do not have a viable pregnancy. I laid back, and held my breath. The next thing you know, the smallest little bean of an embryo pops up on the screen, and we saw our baby for the first time. Just one! PHEW! Multiples would be amazing, and kutos to all you parents out there with them, but we were excited to just see the one healthy one! The feeling was indescribable. To see this little follicle turn into a little bean, and to see the flicker of the heartbeat, was pure happiness. Everything looked great, my bloodwork was healthy, and baby Stanley was growing!
Telling people can be a bit scary. You want to scream with excitement and tell everyone, but at the same time, miscarriage is incredibly common, 1 in 4 pregnancies, and we didn’t want to have to go back and tell people we lost the baby if something were to happen. We knew that we wanted to tell our closest group of friends as quickly as possible though, because we can’t lie well, and we see them almost daily, and then surprise our families on Christmas. It was easier to keep it from our families, because around the holidays, we’re all so busy that we don’t see each other too frequently! We planned a friendsgiving dinner, and tried to figure out a way to incorporate it into the meal and see who would notice it first! Lauren had the idea of putting stickers on iced tea that said “Its time to spill the tea, we’re mommies to be!” and tie them around the glasses. We set the table and anxiously awaited someone to notice. It didn’t take long for them to all read what was on the sticker and the cat was out of the bag!
It was so relieving to have them know and be able to share our exciting news with them, and it was a bonus that I didn’t have to hide my bean burrito addiction anymore. We told a few more people here and there, but we waited until we hit the 12 week mark to tell everyone, and wanted to make it special for our families. We decided to make ornaments for everyone, and have them open them at the gift exchange on Christmas morning.
Lauren’s family was up first. They all knew that we were going through IUI’s, but we told them that it didn’t work and that we were taking a break. We had them open them in groups as people came to her mom’s house. Her mom and pops were up first, followed by her sister and our nephew, then her grandparents! Everyone was so excited for this little babe and showered us with so much love! They were surprised, but most of them had already figured it out, or at least suspected it!
Next up was telling my family. We had kept the entire process a secret from them, just so that we had the least amount of people knowing as possible. We wanted to be able to have the element of surprise, and it worked! We gave my mom the ornament, and she was SHOCKED to say the least, but very excited. My grandma was confused as to how it happened, and was a bit lost for words. Not happy, not upset, just indifferent to the whole thing. As time went on, she was genuinely happy for us, but was still always a bit stand off-ish when it came to our marriage and now family.
Once we told our families, it was time to tell everyone else! Most people were so happy and excited for us, but mostly it was a LOT of questions! We are always open to any questions people have, because we see it as an opportunity to educate people, and rarely take offense to them. It is the same when people challenge the validity of our marriage and relationship; you either become defensive and closed off, or you take it as a teaching opportunity. That is a big reason why we started this blog. Most straight people truly have no idea how LGBTQ families come to fruition, and the questions are endless.
Next up, the first trimester!
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